Wednesday, August 26, 2009

If only...

Its that time of year again. Yes, that's right. Time to stock up on pencils and notebooks. Time to start a new group of folders on Microsoft Word. Time to show off your new wardrobe that you/your parents bought. Time to get back in the routine of waking up early but not really go to bed any earlier. Time for school!

I have attended school for the last 16 years of my life. (K-Jr in college) That's a long time! I have gone through the routine over and over again. For 16 years of my life, the summer has always ended...the school year has always started...and I listed by occupation as student on most surveys that I filled out. Until now...

For those of you who don't know, I have been attending Nebraska Christian College for the past 3 years. I love NCC very much and some of my closest friends are people that I met there. I love the professors and the love they have (and show) for the students. I love the students. I love living in the dorms. I love late night Taco Bell runs to satisfy my never ending hunger. I love college!

Sometimes though, I think that I loved some things a little too much, and some things I didn't love enough. Long story short...I am on Academic Suspension right now...due to poor time management skills and extreme laziness. I found out that I was not able to return to NCC for a semester towards the end of last year. This crushed meant more than JUST have to be away from NCC. It meant not being able to be a part of the NCC Camp Team with some of my best friends. It meant being dismissed from my current major. It meant having to spend a long period of time away from the majority of my friends. It meant losing my job. It meant losing a lot of money. It meant leaving Omaha. It meant leaving the church that I had been leading worship at. It meant disappointing my parents/closest friends/professors.

I walked away from school angry at myself. Furious that I had screwed everything up that bad. Not wanting to look at myself in the mirror because I was so disappointed in myself. But one thing that I found, in the midst of all that was going wrong in my life, was that God seems to work in mysterious and rather weird ways sometimes. When all I could think about was how much I screwed up...God was whispering to me that I wasn't a failure. When I didn't think there was any way to salvage my future ministry...God provided.

God with a loving family to support me even though they were somewhat disappointed with the way things panned out.
God with friends that keep in touch even though I'm multiple hours and hundreds of miles away.
God provided...professors that still see potential even though I haven't lived up to it yet.
God provided...with an internship opportunity that is preparing me for ministry better than I could have ever imagined.
God provided...a great body of believers in Norton, KS that have welcomed me into their community with open arms.
God provided...a youth group that could help me to see what my true calling is and the passion that God has placed in my life to reach out to students.
God with a mentor and growing friend.
God provided...Godly examples to show me how He intended for people to live.
God provided...grace and healing.
God provided...a second/third/fourth/etc...chance.
God provided...hope.
God provided...just like He promised.

"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment." ~1 Timothy 6:17~

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." ~Deuteronomy 31:8~


  1. Oooo, I will be the first to comment... first of all, 1:04AM! That is impressive. Second, well, yes, AMEN!!! That is all I can say.

  2. Coddy-
    I love looking back and seeing the hand of God so completely obvious over me in times when I think I've screwed it all up. He sure is something incredible. :)

  3. Cody - You are such a blessing to our church family and to our youth! It never ceases to amaze me how God can take something that we see as a failure in our lives and turn it into such a wonderful opportunity!

  4. cody, this is my favorite blog so far. i'm glad to know you are letting God work in your life and continuing to grow closer to Him :)

  5. My favorite blog too! Even though it sucks that we (your family) all live so far away, we know you are where you are supposed to be :). I am so glad you decided to follow God's leading rather than stay frustrated and upset about what happened in college. I can't wait to see what else God has in store for you.

  6. Esther 4:14b

    Way to see the positive, dude. Tell Mike and Christina what's up. Keep up the good writing.

  7. (with tears in his eyes)

    Yep, He's growing up. I love you son!

    Ps 16:2-11

    I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord;
    apart from you I have no good thing."
    As for the saints who are in the land,
    they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight.
    The sorrows of those will increase
    who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips.
    LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure.
    The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.
    I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
    even at night my heart instructs me.
    I have set the LORD always before me.
    Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

    9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
    my body also will rest secure,
    10 because you will not abandon me to the grave,
    nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
    11 You have made known to me the path of life;
    you will fill me with joy in your presence

  8. I am glad to finally see a post about this. It is something that I haven't really wanted to "talk" about because I don't want to ever make you feel uncomfortable around me. But we are proud of you and are so greatful for the many things that God is showing you on this journey. I know that changes like this are never easy, but God always provides what we need to see His plan. I love you baby brother.